


The Ship Of Dreams

by lovesewndingle



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, RMS Titanic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-04-27 13:22:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14426313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesewndingle/pseuds/lovesewndingle
Summary: A chance meeting, a surprise love but when it all comes crashing down, what is left to salvage?





	1. Chapter One : Setting Sail

The sun shone down on the crowds of people who stood, some watching, some rushing, some happy, some envious.  
Sound filled the air as the people waited in anticipation for the big moment that they had waited for for months, years even.  
"There she is!" Lawrence White announced as he stepped from the beautiful car he had won in a card game only two days previous.  
"Father, must you be so obvious?" Chrissie White asked, rolling her eyes as she took the hand of her fiancé, Robert Sugden, as he helped her from the vehicle.  
The 'She' that Lawrence so blatantly pointed out was the huge ship called the Titanic.  
"Are we sure she'll even float?" Robert asked, watching as cars were lowered onto the top deck.  
"Of course! God himself could not sink this ship!" Lawrence raised his cane to gesture towards the vessel in front of them.

Chrissie rolled her eyes and turned towards Robert who was adjusting his tie.  
"Darling, do you think I should've packed my cream hat? What if the blue one just doesn't go with that dress that you gave me for our anniversary?" Her bottom lip protruded.  
Robert sighed.  
"My love, I'm sure you have plenty of other options." He glanced at the dozens of luggage cases and bags that were being unloaded from their cars. He wondered how one woman needed so many clothes.  
"But, what if I look ridiculous?!" She asked, aghast at his lack of interest.  
"You could never." Robert placed a kiss upon her gloved hand which seemed to please her into a subdued silence.  
"Come on, you two. We must head towards boarding." Lawrence announced, checking his pocket watch.

 

Aaron Dingle wasn't exactly poor. He had a job, he had a home, but his pregnant mother Chastity needed his money more than he did and his little sister Olivia was growing up now, she needed to go to school. So, Aaron gave everything he could give to them, leaving something for himself just to get by.  
He smoked a cigarette and watched as the smoke plumed from the ship's four smokestacks, the engine getting geared up and ready to set sail on it's voyage to America.  
He sips his ale and glances down at the card deck in his left hand.

The loot in the middle of the table made his hands sweat with hopefulness at a win.  
A French man muttered angrily to his partner at the table about the contents of the pot.  
"I cannot believe you are using our Titanic tickets to bet with." He spat.  
The other man ignored him, frowning down at his hand of cards.  
Aaron looked up with a smirk.  
"Pierre?" He indicated to the man that it was his turn.  
Aaron's best friend, Adam Barton, gulped down the worry in his throat and kept his eyes on his last remaining money sitting in the middle of the table, along with his late Father's pocket watch that wasn't worth much but the sentiment was enough value.  
Pierre licked his lips slowly and placed his cards face up on the table, sighing and looking at his partner, Jacques, with an apologetic shrug.  
Jacques head span as his heart quickened, looking at Aaron with fear as he slowly placed his cards down on the table.  
"I'm sorry, Adam." He sighed.  
Adam groaned.  
"You're not serious?" He asked, trying his best not to cry.  
"I'm sorry... You're going to have to keep that old pocket watch for your child to have." Aaron said, slamming his cards down on the table. "We're going to America!!" He announced as Pierre and Jacques strained their heads to look at the cards across the table.  
Adam jumped out of his seat and threw his arms around Aaron.  
Aaron grabbed the tickets and their loot, handing Adam back the watch.  
"We only have five minutes to get down to boarding!" He realised, his eyes wide and panicked.  
Aaron threw the sack of winnings and belongings over his shoulder and began his run towards to grand vessel.  
"Come on!" He called out to Adam who lagged behind slightly.  
They ran through people and they ran through horses and they ran until their feet almost lit on fire with the speed that they were flying through the crowds.

"Wait, wait!" Aaron called out as the ramp between land and sea began to be retracted.  
A ship official looked the men up and down and frowned. Aaron thrust the tickets into his hand, and watched as he inspected the paper, watching his eyes go back and forth across the page.  
"Welcome aboard, gentlemen." He said, smiling with a nod and moving aside to let the sweaty, out of breath men onto the ship.  
They ran along the corridor and Aaron jumped for joy, grabbing Adam with both hands. "We're the luckiest sons of bitches in the world! Do you know that?!" He almost squealed.  
Adam laughed and nodded, kissing Aaron on the head and holding both of his cheeks in his hands.  
The loud cheers and goodbyes from the crowds watching could even be heard over the loud horn as Aaron and Adam made it to top deck to wave to the crowds as they set sail for America. "Who are we even waving to?" Adam shouted over the noise.  
"I have no idea!" Aaron responded, laughing loudly but never dropping his hand once.  
The ship began to move and Aaron and Adam looked at each other and though neither of them would ever admit it or speak of it again, both would swear they saw tears in each other's eyes.


	2. Chapter Two : The Meeting

Aaron looked at his ticket and kissed it happily, still not quite believing his luck.  
All of his worldy goods were laid out on the small table in the room he and Adam shared and Adam's pocket watch ticked away, the only sound audible in the lower decks of the ship, the poor people rooms.  
He glanced out of the small window to the ocean as the ship sailed the waters and Aaron truly believed he had never seen the colour blue so vivid as where the ocean met the sky.  
Adam's soft snores were starting to irritate Aaron so he decided to stand on the edge of his lower bunk bed to reach Adam on the top.  
"Adam. Dinnertime, come on." He urged.  
Adam grumbled and turned to face the wall, scrunching his body into the foetal position.  
Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes, knowing he would be dining alone tonight.

Chrissie smoothed out her dress and looked to Robert for his approval.  
He stayed silent.  
This was the third dress she had tried on this evening, despite the first one being perfectly fine on her.  
"Well?" She asked.  
Their help maid looked at Robert with a frown, hoping she wouldn't have to undo and lace Chrissie's corset another time around.  
As Robert carefully thought of his reply, the door opened and Lawrence cleared his throat.  
"Princess, are you ready?" He asked.  
"Yes, I'm ready, are you, Chrissie?" Robert joked. Chrissie hit him lightly on his arm but she was amused. It was this sort of wit that attracted her to Robert. That and his handsome looks.  
Lawrence rolled his eyes.  
"Come on, will you? It'll be breakfast we're eating at this rate!" He turned and left the room, his butler following him.  
"I think this dress will just have to do." Chrissie announced with a sigh.  
Robert took the hint.  
"My darling, you look beautiful, you always do. You'd look fantastic in a paper bag." He soothed. Chrissie lapped it up and ordered the help away, freeing her of her duties for the evening.

Robert sat at the first class table, surrounded by money and arrogance.  
Lawrence was in a competition with another man over who had more money , Chrissie was sipping her wine in silence as her mind fretted over tomorrow's activities. Robert's mind was empty.  
He began to think about his future with Chrissie and how conversations about clothes and expensive jewellery would be the only things he'd talk about for the next however many years until one of them died and gave the other some peace and quiet.  
He thought of their future children and how they'd be the mixture of them both and that would either turn out wonderfully or it would turn out terribly.  
The room got louder and louder and the heat was almost too much to handle. He tried to loosen his bow tie but Chrissie shot him a look that told him not to embarrass her like this.  
Robert remained silent but his mind was swimming. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel so suffocated? His breath was quicker than normal and his heart rate had increased. He felt like he was about to vomit.  
"Chrissie... I-" His words came out in breathless gasps and he pushed his seat away from the table.  
Lawrence turned and looked as Chrissie's mouth fell open.  
She was mortified.  
"Oh for goodness sake, go and get some air!" Lawrence instructed.  
As Robert nodded and rushed away, grabbing his napkin as he went, he overheard Lawrence blaming sea sickness, saying he thought he'd looked a bit green all evening. The guests at the table laughed and normality resumed. 

Robert ran towards the front of the ship and hadn't realised just how dark it had gotten whilst they ate. It must've been the candles and the chandeliers, lighting up the room.  
He pushed past people having an evening stroll and thought this was the exact moment he had realised he'd lost his mind.  
He ran until he reached the railings and grabbed out for them, almost tumbling over the edge when he couldn't stop himself at the pace he had ran.  
He gripped the cold, metal, covered in glossy white paint. He leant over and rested his forehead on it, trying to control his breathing.  
"I could think of easier ways to kill yourself, if that's what you're trying to do." A voice from behind him made Robert jump out of his thoughts.  
He turned and saw a man in front of him, kind of scruffy looking.  
"Excuse me?" Robert asked, his breathlessness still apparent.  
The man blinked and looked him up and down.  
"Are you... okay?" He asked.  
Robert shook his head.  
"I can't.... breathe." He began to panic again.  
The man stepped forwards and held out his hands.  
Robert frowned at them, almost appalled. They were filthy.  
"You're having a panic attack. You need to take this off, maybe that will make it better." He said, reaching out to undo his bow tie.  
Robert lifted his chin, forgetting the muck on the man's hands, grateful for the help. He undid his top button as the man handed him back his bow tie.  
"Better?" The man asked, a slight dip in his brow.  
Robert managed to nod and sat himself down against the railings, resting his head back against them and looking up at the sky.  
"I've never seen so many stars." He whispered.  
"Ah, a city boy." The man chuckled, sitting beside him. "That figures."  
Robert frowned and looked at him.  
"Excuse me?" He repeated.  
The man smirked and looked down at his hands.  
"I'm Aaron." He said, holding out a hand. Robert glanced down at it. Aaron noticed the dirt and wiped it on his trousers.  
Robert hesitated but reconsidered.  
"Robert. Robert Sugden." He said, shaking Aaron's hand.  
"Welcome to the Titanic, Robert Sugden." Aaron grinned.  
Robert smirked.

"So, what brings you here?" Aaron asked, resting his head on the railings the same way Robert had.  
"I'm here with my fiance and her Father. We're going dress shopping for the big day in New York."  
"Let me guess, is Daddy buying?" Aaron quizzed.  
Robert was silent.  
Aaron took that as confirmation.  
"And how about yourself?"  
"Would you believe me if I told you I won the ticket in a poker game?" Aaron smirked to himself, still not quite believing it himself.  
"I'd believe anything these days." Robert said. He couldn't believe it that he, himself was on the ship.  
Aaron swallowed and took a deep breath.  
"I best get back to my friend. I left him sleeping. He'll be wondering where I am." He said, getting back up to his feet and standing over Robert.  
Robert looked him up and down and nodded slowly.  
"Okay." He said.  
Aaron nodded, gave a small smile and turned on his heel.  
"Aaron?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thanks. For... helping me calm down."  
Aaron nodded.  
"You can always just leave her." He said.  
Robert's mouth opened to reply but Aaron began to walk away and within moments, he'd gone.  
Robert stood up, brushing off his trousers and folding his collar back up to retie his bow tie and head back to the dining room.


	3. Chapter Three : An Invitation

A new day dawned on the ship of dreams and Robert awoke to the sound of Chrissie squealing with excitement from the living room section of their private quarters.   
Robert tried desperately to close his eyes again, his panic attack from the evening before had drained him and he didn't believe he had ever been this tired. He turned over to face the wall, his freckled skin glowing in the sunlight.  
The bedroom door flew open.  
"Darling! Just look at this!!!" Chrissie almost shrieked.   
"Good morning to you, too." Robert sighed, attempting to put a pillow over his face to block out Chrissie and the light.  
Chrissie tore it out from his hand and pulled the sheets off of him.   
She knew he hated when she did that.  
Robert groaned and sat up, rubbing his head, slightly annoyed.  
"Look what Daddy got me!" Chrissie exclaimed, almost throwing herself onto the bed in the space she had left beside Robert.   
In the palm of her hands was the most magnificent necklace Robert had ever seen. And Chrissie owned plenty of beautiful necklaces for him to say that and mean it.  
The chain was silver and the pendant was a blue gemstone that Robert no interest in learning the name of, but he knew for certain that it was encrusted in diamonds and must be worth a fortune.  
"Is it not the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?!" She asked.   
Lawrence appeared in the doorway, leaning himself against the doorframe.  
Robert remained silent, staring at the pendant as it made colours on their bedroom walls in the strong sunlight.  
"You are the most beautiful thing we have ever seen, sweetheart. This necklace is a simple gift to enhance that." Lawrence said, scowling at Robert's silence.   
Chrissie jumped to her feet, giddy once again.   
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said, covering her Father's cheeks in kisses.  
Robert pulled the sheets back up to his chest, feeling exposed, in more ways than one. He loved Chrissie, of course he did. He knew Lawrence loved her too. He is her Father after all, and Father's should spoil their daughters but Robert couldn't help but feel stung.   
Sure, he had money. Sure, he wasn't poor in the slightest, but how could he ever match up to Lawrence and how he showered Chrissie with expensive presents?  
"Robert?" Chrissie snapped Robert straight out of his day dream and back to the ship with a bang.  
"Yes? Sorry." He smiled.  
"Would you put this on for me?" She asked, pulling her hair over one shoulder so he could put her necklace on for her.  
"Are you sure?" He quizzed.  
Chrissie frowned.  
"Only... maybe you should wait until this evening. I'm sure you have a dress that will match this perfectly. Everyone around the table will want to gaze at it, and you, all night!" Robert swallowed the lump in his throat as Lawrence and Chrissie stared at him.  
"He's right. Plus it will only blind the poor people in this glorious sunshine." Lawrence said. Both he and Chrissie both laughed. "I'll put it in the safe until this evening." He took the pendant from Chrissie and headed away, leaving the couple on their own.  
"What's wrong?" Chrissie asked, sitting back down on the bed beside Robert, placing her hand on his. "Are you still feeling unwell?" She asked.   
When he'd returned to the dinner table the night before, he made his excuses and went back to their suite, feeling a mixture of strange emotions and feelings and truth be told, the man he met hadn't quite left his mind for a moment since.  
"No, no. I'm okay. Just peckish." Robert smiled at his fiancee.   
"Get dressed. We'll go and eat on the terrace." Chrissie patted his hand with her own and stood up.   
She really did care for him, she hated seeing him so unlike himself.  
"Okay." Robert smiled and nodded.   
As Chrissie sat at the dressing table to brush her hair, Robert's eyes shifted across to the bow tie he had thrown down over to the top of the mirror when he got back and rushed to get himself into bed last night. He wondered if it had all been a dream.   
"Do you mind if I meet you in a little while?" Robert asked.  
Chrissie looked at him in the mirror, slightly perplexed.  
"I thought you were hungry?" She asked.  
"I have to do something but it won't take long. We'll be married in a few months and then you'll be trying your best to get rid of me." Robert smirked at her.   
Chrissie grinned at him and stood up from her velvet stool, throwing her arms around his neck.  
"I love you, Robert Sugden, I never, ever want to get rid of you!" She exclaimed. Robert laughed and kissed her forehead.  
"And, I love you." He said.

Robert paced the front deck where he had met Aaron the night before, hoping for a glimpse of him again. It had been almost an hour and he knew Chrissie would be wondering where he was. He also knew Lawrence would probably be bad mouthing him too. He pulled out his pocket watch. He began to walk when he slammed into a person.  
"Oh!" The person said.  
"You should look where you're going!" Robert said, disgusted.   
He brushed himself off and looked up.  
"Yeah, well maybe you should too. You're the one that walked into me." The man stood in front of him scowled, angrily.   
"Adam!" A voice in the distance called. "Adam! I think we can probably eat in the-" Robert looked up to see Aaron approaching them.  
"You." Aaron said, recognising Robert immediately.  
"Hello." Robert looked down at his feet, feeling awkward for some unknown reason.  
"You know this fool?" Adam asked.   
Aaron looked at Robert, lost for words. "We met last night. Robert here was... looking for the first class part of the boat, he'd gotten a little lost."   
Robert couldn't understand why Aaron had lied for him.   
Adam scoffed. "First class, huh? Figures." He almost spat, fire in his eyes.  
Robert looked out at sea.  
Adam began to walk away. "I'll meet you inside." Aaron called after him.  
Robert walked slowly to the front of the ship, resting his hands on the metal railings and looking out at the vastness in front of him, no land could be seen for miles. Only water, water and more water. Robert hadn't realised that Aaron had joined him at his side.  
"Are you... okay?" Aaron asked, wondering what Robert was doing on his own on the front deck again. He was concerned he was suicidal.   
"Why did you lie to your friend?" Robert asked, squinting at Aaron in the sunlight.  
Aaron pulled a face that said he wasn't sure.  
"I guess I didn't think you'd want people to know you had a panic attack." He answered with a simple shrug.  
"You don't know me." Robert's words came out nastier than he'd meant.  
Aaron was taken aback.  
"I know that." He was annoyed.  
The men shared a look in silence and Aaron broke it.  
"I best go and find Adam since you pissed him off too." He said.  
Robert didn't say another word.  
"Right. Yeah. See ya." Aaron said, walking away.  
"I was here looking for you." Robert said.  
Aaron stopped and turned back. He swore his heart skipped a beat but he was too proud to admit it.  
"What?" He asked.  
Robert turned and leant against the metal railings in the same place as they were the night before.  
"I... wondered if you'd like to join us for dinner tonight. As a thank you... for helping me for last night." Why did he feel so nervous? Almost as though he was asking the man on a date.  
Aaron looked at him for a moment.  
"Dinner... with you and your fiancee? In first class?"   
"I mean... there will be other people there too."  
"Are you sure there's room for me? I can't just... barge my way in." Aaron felt his cheeks redden.  
"Chrissie has just had a new necklace. I'm sure she's going to be thrilled to be showing it off to an extra person." Robert said, amusing himself.  
Aaron chuckled.  
"Okay."   
"Okay. Good. Seven. See you there." Robert ended the conversation with a quick nod.  
As he walked away from Aaron, his heart rate had increased and he felt flushed. Why had the sight of this man and the confirmation that last night wasn't a dream sent him into a schoolgirl crush like daze? He wasn't sure but he knew he had to rush back and break it to the White's that they were to expect an extra guest at dinner that night.


	4. Chapter Four : The Dinner.

"So, who exactly.. is this man?" Chrissie asked, moving her hair to one side so Lawrence could attach the necklace around her neck.  
"He's... erm... he's just a man who helped me the other evening." Robert replied, trying not to smile at the memory.  
"Helped you how exactly?" Lawrence asked.  
"He was... there when I wasn't feeling well." Robert said.  
Lawrence scoffed, trying to resist making a comment.  
"And that entitles him to eat at our table?" He asked, genuine confusion etched into his wrinkled face.  
Robert sighed.  
"Oh, Father, I think it's lovely." Chrissie said. Robert blinked. "Let Robert make a new friend on board!" Chrissie stroked her necklace and stood tall.   
"Well? Do I look okay?" She asked.  
"Incredible." Robert pecked a kiss upon her cheek. She grinned and made her way towards the living quarters with Lawrence, leaving Robert alone.  
He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed his cheeks were flushed a shade of pink. He blamed the warmth of the room and not the thought of potentially seeing the man he'd befriended in a suit.   
"Are you ready?" Chrissie reappeared in the doorway.  
"Yes. I'm just coming." Robert smiled. He checked his hair was in place and his bow tie was symmetrical and followed Chrissie out of the door.

"Bloody hell." Adam laughed, sitting up on his bed. "Where did you find that?" He wolf whistled as Aaron laughed, pushing his shoulder back.  
"Do I look like an idiot?" Aaron asked his friend.  
"You look like a penguin." Adam mocked. Aaron sighed. "What did you do to get an invite into first class anyway?" Adam asked, taking a large bite out of an apple that would be his dinner. Aaron felt guilty.  
"I...." He looked down at his polished shoes.  
"Do I wanna know?" Adam asked, taking the dirty thought route as always.  
"No. I don't think you do." Aaron thought it was better than the truth because he really didn't quite know what the truth was.  
"And where did you get the suit?" Adam quizzed.  
Aaron rolled his eyes.   
"I need to go." He announced. Adam smirked. "Have fun." 

"Will you stop fiddling?" Chrissie scolded, privately to Robert. "What is the matter with you?" She asked with bewilderment as she watched her fiance fold out his cotton napkin and re fold it again.  
Robert opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a member of the waiter staff clearing his throat.  
"This gentleman says he is dining with a Robert Sugden this evening?" He said.   
Robert looked over the man's shoulder to see Aaron looking down at his feet, awkward but handsome.  
"Yes, that is correct." Robert confirmed.   
The man nodded and held out an arm to tell Aaron to sit. He sat opposite Robert and beside a rather small woman who smelt of candied toffee and spearmint on his left and Lawrence on his right.   
"Everyone, this is Aaron." Robert said. Everyone murmured their hello's.   
"Hello there, my boy." Lawrence held out a large hand for Aaron to shake. Robert noticed the grime had gone and Aaron had even cut his fingernails down.   
"My name is Lawrence White and this here is my daughter Christine." He gestured across the table.  
"You can call me Chrissie." She smiled, sweetly.  
"Hello, Chrissie." Aaron nodded.   
Robert couldn't take his eyes off of Aaron. He wondered where he'd gotten his suit from.  
"Starters should be arriving soon. Would you like a drink?" Someone else asked, welcoming the stranger kindly.   
Chrissie cocked her head to the side and whispered across to Robert. "You can tell he's poor. That suit jacket is far too big for him." Robert pretended to laugh with her but watched as Aaron chose from the bottles of wine in front of him.  
The conversation flowed all evening but Aaron stayed quiet for most of it. "Are you alright?" Robert asked across the table as Chrissie showed off her pendant to yet another jealous lady from another table.  
Aaron nodded his response and sipped his red wine, disgusted by the taste. Robert sipped his too, watching Aaron fake smiles and laughter. Even he could see that Aaron was desperately wanting to be anywhere but there.  
The evening went on and their final course had been finished for a while when Lawrence turned to face Aaron.  
"So, tell me, just how did you get a ticket onto this ship?" He asked, a glass of the finest champagne in his one hand, a lit cigar in the other.   
Robert's head jerked towards him, mortified at his blunt and rude question.   
Aaron didn't seem phased at all.  
"I won it, Sir. In a card game." The members of the table all laughed but Aaron's face didn't change.  
"What? You're serious?" Chrissie asked.  
Aaron nodded, draining the last of his wine into his mouth and placing the crystal cut glass down onto the table.  
"Don't act so surprised, Chrissie. I won my current automobile in a card game. We'll have to play sometime. See what else you can try and win." Lawrence laughed and patted the man on the shoulder.   
Robert's heart was thudding. Why did he care about how his family felt about Aaron and whether they accepted him or not.  
"Yeah... absolutely." Aaron nodded and smiled and acted up in front of the man but he knew he wouldn't be invited back here again. Lawrence was simply giving the other members of the table a show.   
"On that note... I must go." Aaron placed his napkin onto the table and pushed his chair out.   
Robert felt the oxygen leave his lungs.  
"Goodnight, my boy." Lawrence said and turned away instantly, discussing cars with the man beside him.   
Robert stood.  
"Must you go?" He whispered.   
Aaron was taken aback.  
"I..." He was cut off by Chrissie.  
"Thank you ever so much for coming to dinner with us tonight. I do hope the first class lifestyle was all you had expected it to be."   
Robert knew she hadn't meant to be rude but his eyes still screwed up with embarrassment.   
Aaron laughed and nodded. "Thank you for letting me join you. Goodnight everyone." He said.

He began to leave, removing his bow tie as he left, walking quickly away.  
"Hey... wait." He heard.  
He turned to see Robert running towards him.  
"Thank you for... coming along." He said. Aaron nodded. "I'm sorry it wasn't your scene. I just wanted to thank you for your kindness the other evening."   
Aaron silenced a laugh and turned to look out at the black night over the soft, warm lighting of the deck.  
"No problem." He said.  
An awkward silence filled the air and the two men looked at each other. Both of them would never admit it but they swore they felt something between them.  
"Hey, do you want to go to a real party?" Aaron asked, suddenly, surprising himself even.  
Robert smirked and nodded, following Aaron down flights of stairs.   
"Where are we going?" He asked, feeling slightly giddy.  
Aaron laughed and opened a door, the sounds of Irish music filled their ears and laughter echoed through the room.  
Men and women danced around and children banged their knees and clapped their hands along to the beat.   
"Welcome to Lower Deck." Aaron grinned.   
"Aaron!! You made it!" A young girl ran at them and threw her arms around Aaron's waist.  
"April! My number one girl!" He ruffled her hair and looked at her as she stared up at the taller man, her eyes wide. She'd never been in the presence of someone rich before.  
"April, this is Robert." Aaron said, getting down to her level and looking up at Robert.  
Robert's stomach lurched and fluttered as the blue eyes stared up into his.  
"Hi Robert." She smiled. Robert looked at her and held out a hand, only to have the girl throw her arms around him too and for once, Robert's first thought wasn't to be disgusted. April ran away, back to her Father and Aaron made his way across to the bar.  
It was now Robert's turn to feel out of place.   
The music and dancing continued and Aaron shouted his order across at the man serving drinks.   
Robert watched beside him as the poor people danced and sang to the music. He felt warm and fuzzy and a smile even made it's way across his lips.  
Aaron threw off his suit jacket and thrust a pint of ale into Robert's hand.   
"Cheers!" He said, clinking his glass against it and taking a long gulp.  
Robert looked at him and at the beer and copied him, the sweet taste of the warm beer fizzing inside his mouth and down his throat.  
He shuddered and Aaron laughed.  
"First time?" He asked.  
Robert nodded and felt light headed. Surely he wasn't drunk already? Aaron sat them down on top of beer crates and Robert removed his own jacket, feeling as though he was sticking out like a sore thumb.  
A woman approached and took Aaron's hand, rushing him to the area that had been made into the dance floor and they begin spinning each other around and laughing. Robert began to laugh, clapping his hands and tapping his feet to the music.   
He couldn't get his head around how much this was like another world. He was only a few floors away from his wife to be and yet he felt like he was in another land completely.  
The music stopped and the band took swigs from their beer glasses and Robert's heart dropped as he thought that the music was over. He was wrong. Within seconds, they began to play again and Robert grinned.  
April made her way through the crowds and held out a hand to him. Robert looked at her. "Come on!" She instructed and for some reason, Robert listened to her, taking her hand and letting her guide him through the sea of people to the middle, where Aaron was.  
Aaron looked surprised and Robert shrugged, pointing the blame at April. They began an Irish jig around the dance floor and Robert picked April up to dance with her on his hip. April laughed and Aaron felt his heart lurch as he watched them. What was this feeling? Aaron frowned at himself and returned to their makeshift seats. Robert looked over and Aaron grinned, taking another drink of beer.   
The music finished and April curtsied to Robert and ran away again, leaving Robert alone on the dance floor. He laughed and headed back to Aaron, taking Aaron's beer glass from his hand and taking a swig from it too, the sweat standing on his brow but not once did he break eye contact with the man. He finished the drink and watched as Aaron's smirk grew.  
"What? You think a first class guy can't drink?" He asked. They both laughed and stared at each other, their eyes drinking each other in.  
The music began for a final time and someone grabbed Aaron's hand. It was a group dance. He looked at Robert and down at his rolled up sleeves and grabbed his hand too. Robert's fingers were electric with the touch. He felt as though he could ignite fires and sparks. They danced around in a circle and Robert's hair was flat against his head from where he had sweat. Robert got a glimpse of a clock. It was almost midnight.   
"I need to go." Robert announced. He hadn't realised the time, Chrissie would be wondering where he had gotten to.   
Aaron laughed loudly, not hearing him.  
"Aaron!" He shouted over the music. They broke free from the circle and moved to the side.  
"I need to go." He repeated. Aaron felt deflated.   
"Okay. Sure." They both realised they were still holding hands. They let go and stood opposite each other, not sure of what to do next.   
Robert retrieved his suit jacket and put it back on, almost like he was returning himself to his rich, posh persona.   
"Goodnight, Aaron." Robert said, smiling.   
Aaron nodded. "Goodnight, Sugden." He smiled back, watching as the blonde man pushed his way through the crowd until he could no longer be seen.


	5. Chapter Five : A Secret Meeting

"Good morning. It's lovely of you to join us." Lawrence said, flicking the ash of his cigar into the metal ashtray that sat between the pastries and fruit on the breakfast table.  
Robert kissed Chrissie's cheek and sat himself down beside her, remaining silent.  
"Would you like anything to eat, Sir?" A female waiting staff member asked, standing at Robert's side with her hands clasped together in front of her.   
"No, thank you. But a large coffee would be brilliant." He smiled. She nodded and disappeared before returning moments later with a carafe of coffee, pouring it carefully into the cup she had upturned for him.   
Chrissie sipped her orange juice and turned her body to stare out at the vast nothingness in front of her.   
"It's a lovely day." She announced. The sun was shining, so that was clearly her way of making the awkward silence a little less painful.  
Robert stirred the black coffee, watching intently as the sugar cube began to dissolve.  
"And, where did you get to last night?" Lawrence asked the question he had been dying to know the answer to.  
"What?" Robert asked, attempting rather terribly to avoid answering the question.  
"Last night. Chrissie says you didn't come back here until a long time after us." Lawrence's brow was pushing his eyebrows down towards his eyes, the white hair almost covering his eyes. He took a drag from his cigar and blew the smoke towards Robert.  
"I... I went for a walk." He lied. "I was feeling sea sick again and decided to get fresh air. I didn't want to burden Chrissie with looking after me." He said.   
Chrissie placed her hand onto his, her engagement ring sparkling in the sunlight.  
"But you know I'd have helped you. In sickness and in health, remember?" She smiled.  
"You're not married yet." Lawrence's frown hadn't moved.   
Robert's heart sped as he wondered if someone had seen him with Aaron the night before.  
"Are you feeling better this morning?" Chrissie asked, putting the back of her hand against his brow to check for a fever.  
"Yes. I'm fine. Still a little queasy.. but fine." He smiled.   
Chrissie nodded. "You are a little warm." She noted.   
Truth be told, Robert wasn't completely lying. He did feel terrible but that was mostly due to what he believed to be a beer hangover.   
"And, Aaron...." Lawrence began.  
Robert knew it. He knew he'd been followed.  
"Did he enjoy himself?" Lawrence quizzed.   
Robert exhaled, picking up his coffee cup, lacing his fingers through the handle like how his fingers had laced Aaron's the evening before.  
"I'd assume so. He ate and he drank. The boy looked like he needed a good meal." Chrissie commented with an arrogant hair flick.   
Without even trying to, she couldn't help but sound bitchy. It was a talent.   
"I think he had a great time. I said goodbye to him at the clock and headed off on my walk." Robert shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.  
Lawrence nodded but his eyes didn't leave Robert. He wondered if he was trying to scare him into admitting something or if he actually knew the truth.  
"Get ready. We're going for a walk." Lawrence instructed, standing himself from the table.  
Chrissie groaned.  
"Must we come?" She asked. Lawrence frowned.   
"Yes." He replied, walking away without another word.   
"Chrissie, do you mind if I stay here?" Robert asked, taking her hand in his. "Only... I'm not feeling good and if I am sick all over the top deck, your Father will be less than impressed with me." He said.  
Chrissie sighed and looked at him. She took his face in her hands. "The things I do for you, Robert Sugden." She said, cocking her own head to one side.   
Robert knew she loved him. And he loved her too. He just... wasn't sure he was in love with her.   
"I love you." He smiled.  
"I should think so." Chrissie smiled and he kissed her on the forehead.  
Robert watched as Chrissie walked away to get herself ready and began to think of a plan to find Aaron.

Aaron stacked the crates of empty beer glasses and smiled at Sven, the Swedish man that manned the bar.  
"Anything else I can help with?" He asked.  
Sven looked around the room, placing his hands on his hips.  
"I don't think so, Aaron. Thank you." He nodded, offering his hand for a handshake.  
Aaron patted his shoulder and rewarded himself with a beer from the tap. Sven didn't seem to mind. After all, he wasn't paying Aaron for the assistance.  
"Hey!" Aaron said, wiping the beer foam moustache from his top lip as April ran towards him with a huge grin on her face.  
"Robert is looking for you!" She announced, slightly out of breath. Aaron looked down and noticed a chocolate coin in her left palm. He smirked to himself.  
"Is he?" He asked. He tried to ignore the signal his heart had sent, thudding it's way through his chest.   
"Mhmm! He said to meet him... erm..." She looked up and tried to remember the details correctly. "...to meet him... by the.... lifeboats. I think." She said. She gazed down at her chocolate coin, the payment for her errand. Aaron chuckled at her, amused by how children could be won over so easily by something sweet.  
"Thank you, April. I will go and try and find him." Aaron ruffled her hair.

"I hear you're looking for me?" Robert turned to see Aaron walking towards him.  
Robert nodded and beckoned Aaron towards him.  
"What are you doing?" Aaron asked as Robert ushered him into an empty room that held the remaining life boats that weren't out on the deck.  
"We can't be seen." Robert whispered.  
"Why are you whispering?" Aaron asked, amused.  
"I'm supposed to be ill." Robert replied.  
Aaron did a joking look over each shoulder.  
"It's just in here. Us and some lifeboats." He said, sarcasm swimming through each word.  
Robert looked at him with a look that told him to be quiet.  
"I've told Lawrence and Chrissie that I'm not well. They think I'm in bed." He said.  
Aaron rolled his eyes.  
"Why lie to them? Is it so terrible to be seen with me?" He asked.   
Robert frowned and shook his head.  
"No, of course not, I-"  
"Is it because I'm not first class? Would they mind so much if I walked around in fancy suits and shiny shoes every day? Waving a gloved hand at the peasants below us and puffing away on an expensive cigar?" Aaron's voice was getting louder and his face was turning more red by the second.  
"I didn't say that, I-"   
"Just say it! You're ashamed to be seen with me! That's why you've dragged me in here!" Aaron's arms flew outward with exasperation.   
Robert lurched forwards and put both of his hands on Aaron's biceps, trying to calm him down.  
"That's not true! I-"   
Robert was stopped this time by no words but by Aaron's lips on his.  
They kissed and as cliche as it sounded, Robert could've sworn he heard fireworks and trumpets and angels singing.  
They pulled apart and stared at each other, breathless.  
"I'm... engaged." Robert whispered.  
Aaron swallowed and licked his lips, looking down at the floor.  
"I'm not rich, Robert. I have a few coins in my pocket and I have absolutely nothing to offer you. I don't have a fancy car, I don't have a gigantic house in the countryside, but... I can't stop thinking about last night." Aaron had only given one speech like this in his life. To his Mother, to persuade her to let him leave home and try and get on the Titanic.  
Robert looked at Aaron, silently. "So... if you're okay with that... then so am I. Last night was the happiest I've been in a long time and I know you felt it to. I haven't stopped thinking about how we danced and how much I wanted to kiss you and feeling quite silly really because you probably don't even feel the same way about me but I...." Aaron's voice faded and he looked at Robert.  
"I'm engaged." Robert's voice was stronger now. It didn't crumble like it did the first time he'd said those words. Almost like something in him snapped back into place after a moment of madness.  
"I heard you the first time but do you hear it yourself? Are you happy, Robert? Because if you are, then go. Go back to your fiance and forget I ever existed."  
Robert realised his hands were still on Aaron's arms. He dropped them to his sides.  
"You're trapped, Robert. You have no life, you have no future. They control your every move, your every decision, your every thought. I saw that last night and I was with you for a couple of hours. And Chrissie, she's really something, but do you love her?" Aaron's head tilted to one side and Robert noticed the vulnerability in the man's eyes.  
"Do you love her, Robert?" He repeated, softer this time.   
Robert swallowed and shook away his trembling bottom lip.  
"Yes." Robert stared at his feet. "I love her." He looked up at Aaron, finally.  
Aaron nodded slowly, laughing quietly and wiping his mouth.  
"Okay." He said. He scratched his forehead, opening his mouth to say something else but decided against it. Without taking one more look at Robert, he opened the door and left. Robert slid down the wall and put his head against it, realising he'd probably just made the biggest mistake of his life.


	6. Chapter Six : The Realisation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, small scene of homophobia in this chapter. Nothing too much, just harsh words.

Robert stared into space as Chrissie and Lawrence had another one of their discussions about the upcoming wedding. He knew he should probably be involved in the conversation, given that it was going to be him at that altar in a matter of weeks.  
Instead, his mind swam with thoughts of Aaron and the heated moment they’d shared only a few hours ago. He couldn’t help but worry that it was over between them, whatever ‘it’ was, if it was even anything at all. He’d only known the man for a few days and yet his heart raced with every thought of him.  
“And so that is why I think the salmon over peach. Wouldn’t you agree, sweetie?” Chrissie said, turning her attention to Robert.  
Robert snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Chrissie who was staring at him, expecting an answer.  
Lawrence looked less than pleased.  
“It’s your big day, you decide!” Robert smiled, placing his hand onto hers.  
“No, it’s our big day. We’re sharing it. Side by side.” Chrissie said, a small frown etched into her forehead and Robert knew she was thinking that he didn’t want any of this.  
She was right.  
“Show me.” Robert soothed, smiling at her and looked down at the material samples that were practically covering the table.  
Lawrence could see through Robert’s interest.  
“Is there something else you’d rather be doing?” He asked, flicking the ash from his cigar into the crystal ashtray on the table.  
“Please, Father. Do you have to smoke around my wedding samples?” Chrissie groaned, collecting them up and clutching them to her chest.  
Lawrence didn’t say another word, his eyes burned holes into Robert’s face.  
“Of course not!” Robert said, hoping his words didn’t come out as high pitched as they’d felt like to him.  
Chrissie forced her Father to stub out his cigar and began talking to him again about the cost of flowers and what options they had to choose from.  
Robert turned to his left, hearing the raised voice of a man.  
“You will NOT see him again, do you hear me, boy?!” The man spat the words at a boy at the table opposite him.  
The teenager nodded, fear in his eyes.  
“He is a KITCHEN HELP! And you will NOT be homosexual. Not while I still walk this EARTH! I cannot believe what I walked in on. I am disgusted by you. You are no son of mine.”  
The boy’s face was wet with tears.  
Robert was taken back to his own childhood. His own Father. His own sexuality. He watched as the man grabbed the boy by the wrist and dragged him away from the dining room.  
Robert felt sick.  
“May I be excused?” He asked, smiling at Chrissie for permission.  
“Yes, but don’t be long. Dinner will be here soon.” Lawrence was firm. He was not to miss dinner this evening. All of the wedding plans were to be broadcast around the table. Another excuse to show off.  
Robert nodded and kissed Chrissie on the cheek, her lips almost foreign to him now. Since Aaron had kissed him.  
He pushed the doors open with his palms and felt the sea air hit his face. His head was buzzing with thoughts of what he’d just witnessed. Who he was. How he’d never accepted it.  
He went to the top deck, for some reason hoping and praying he’d find Aaron but almost believing that he wouldn’t.  
He headed to the place they first met. The front of the ship.  
And there he was. His coat blowing in the wind and his hands holding tightly onto the metal railings.  
“I could think of easier ways to kill yourself.” Robert echoed the first words Aaron ever said to him.  
Aaron didn’t even turn around.  
Robert sighed and stepped closer to him, hoping he hadn’t lost his mind and that it was in fact Aaron and not someone else.  
He placed a hand on Aaron’s shoulder.  
Aaron turned, almost flinching.  
“Aaron.” Robert whispered. He forced Aaron to look at him. “Are you crying?” He asked.  
Aaron shook his head, furiously and wiped his face with the sleeves of his jumper. “I’m stood at the front of a huge boat. The wind is in my face.” He said, turning away.  
“It’s a ship.” Robert corrected him.  
“What?” Aaron asked, his face screwing up into a frown.  
“It’s a ship. Not a boat.” Robert shrugged.  
“Shut up.” Aaron sighed.  
Robert licked his lips and stared at his feet.  
“What are you even doing here?” Aaron asked, turning his back to the ocean.  
“I… changed my mind.” Robert said, simple and to the point.  
“What?” Aaron asked, again.  
Robert said nothing, taking Aaron’s hand into both of his own and holding it to his chest, similar to the way Chrissie had done with her wedding samples.  
Aaron’s frown had yet to leave his face.  
“I have decided not to run from who I am. Not to hide who I am. I’m bisexual and that’s okay.” Robert said, softly. Aaron could just about hear him over the sound of the huge vessel striding through the waves below.  
“And, Aaron, I like you.”  
Aaron’s frown melted away.  
They stepped closer together and Robert dropped Aaron’s hand, anticipating another kiss. But he knew he could possibly be seen so, instead, he turned to the sunset, placing both of his hands on the metal railings.  
This had quickly become their spot.  
Aaron was at his side, his hand touching Robert’s at the side.  
“I’m sorry.” Aaron’s voice cracked as he spoke.  
“What for?” Robert was confused, wondering what Aaron could possibly ever be apologising for.  
“For… making it hard for you.”  
Robert let out a small laugh.  
“It wasn’t you making it hard for me. It was all me. I’ve always know who I am, I was just scared to accept it.” He said. “When I was around fifteen, my Father caught me and the lad that helped out on the farm together in my room. He… sacked him and beat me up, telling me it was for skiving but I knew the truth. He couldn’t look at me for weeks.” Robert’s bottom lip shook.  
Aaron was shocked.  
“He died a few years ago and we never discussed it. I know he was disgusted by me. By the thought of me being gay.” Robert was trying his hardest not to cry in front of Aaron.  
“I’ve never told anyone this. Not even my sister. Or my stepmother.” Robert looked at Aaron in the eye, asking him, silently, not to tell anyone.  
Aaron nodded. “I won’t tell a soul.” He said, reading Robert’s mind.  
“I buried who I really was. I spent so long trying to be the person he wanted me to be. Marry the woman he wanted me to marry.” Robert laughed at the thought, the silliness of it all.  
Aaron placed his hand on top of Robert’s. “At least you’ve accepted yourself now.”  
Robert nodded.  
“I need to go.” He said, regretfully. “I promised Lawrence I’d be at dinner tonight.” He felt ashamed to even say those words.  
Aaron nodded slowly, taking his hand away.  
“Meet me. Tonight. Midnight. At the clock.” Robert asked, eager, his hand grabbing for the hand Aaron had moved away just seconds before.  
Aaron found himself agreeing and he couldn’t stop himself from doing so.  
“I’ll see you later.” Robert said, looking at his pocket watch and rushing back to his other life.


End file.
